I have to work on my run on sentences so that they do not occur so often. An example of a run on sentence from my Thoreau essay is, We as humans must learn from experience, we must fail in order to succeed. Here is how I would rephrase it so it would not be a run on sentence. We as humans must learn from experience. We must fail in order to succeed. I have to work on my sentence phrasing and word choice throughout all of my writings. An example of this from my Thoreau essay is, Thoreau had this thing called huckleberrying. Here is how I would change my word choice to further deepen the sentence, Thoreau had his own type of learning, it was called huckleberrying.
I have to work on putting more evidence in my papers. An example is in paragraph three of my Thoreau essay.